The Hundred Dresses Rating: 5 of 5
"Each Kindness" Rating: 5 of 5
Do my students wound each other? Do they bully? How much of conflicts do I see? Are they causing hurt outside the walls of my classroom— or even in my classroom, during the moments when my back is turned?
These are questions that I asked myself this week, after one of my students called another one "gay." I had been marveling at my luck all semester, noting how well-behaved, kind, and compassionate our fifth graders are to each other. So this incident of name-calling caught me off guard. Was it just a bad moment? Or is there more of this behavior happening beyond my gaze? What can I do to help my students understand how harmful alienating words and actions can be? How can I teach them to reflect on their hurtful acts and to empathize with one another?
Serendipitously, this weekend I ran across an old book from my childhood, The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes, which reminded me of the power of books to build empathy in students. Yes! Books build empathy (see my supplementary reading list for studies that demonstrate this)! This post comparatively examines two books— The Hundred Dresses and "Each Kindness"— that enable young readers to vicariously experience the effects of bullying on the hearts of those who are bullied and on the hearts of the bullies themselves.
The Hundred Dresses and "Each Kindness"
Both Texts:
- Belong to the realistic fiction genre.
- Tell the story of bullying from a bully's (or bystander's) perspective. Each explores the feelings of fear and shame that often give birth to bullying and the feelings of remorse and sorrow that later encompass a person who bullies.
- Deprive the readers of a happy ending; by doing this, the texts emphasize that the wounds left by hurtful words and actions cannot always be healed.
- Expose how less-explicit forms of bullying— exclusion, avoidance, sarcasm, subtle jokes, and backbiting— can be just as hurtful as physical violence and overt mockery.
- Define "bully"as a verb, rather than as a noun. In other words, both stories show that people who bully aren't necessarily cruel at heart; sometimes their acts of bullying reflect their own insecurities, and sometimes they simply don't know any better.
The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes (grades 5th-7th):
- Is a beginner's chapter book (81 pages).
- Received a Newbery Honor in 1945.
- Is illustrated by Caldecott-winning artist, Louis Slobodkin. The illustrations are a stunning combination of watercolor and pencil, and are scattered throughout the pages.
- Is based on a true story; a "Letter to the Readers" is included at the beginning to share the original inspiration for the book.
- Is set in the United States in the 1940s
- Centers on the social and economic hardships endured by a Polish immigrant family, the Petronski's. This provides a entry-point for teachers to spark conversations on modern-day issues pertaining to immigration and the exclusion of immigrants.
- Models metaphorical writing and writing with imagery.
- Is available in Spanish here!
"Each Kindness" by Jacqueline Woodson (grades 2nd-4th):
- Is a picture book (30 pages, half of which are pictures).
- Received the Coretta Scott King Award in 2013.
- Highlights diversity in its illustrations of students from diverse backgrounds.
- Is set in the United States in the present day.
- Centers on the isolation experienced by a new student whose family is struggling with poverty.
Conclusion
"Each Kindness" and The Hundred Dresses tell almost the exact same story: one of students who choose to exclude an innocent peer on the basis of social status, who later regret their cruelty, who are neither able to fully mend their actions nor remedy the guilt that fills their hearts. The gloomy endings of both books may be a source of concern to some educators; some may wonder if kids can withstand the weight of last pages that seem to scream "unhappily ever after."
Should we shield them from this sadness? My thoughts on this are reflected in this brief excerpt from Matt de la Peña's recent article in TIME Magazine:
Maybe instead of anxiously trying to protect our children from every little hurt
and heartache, our job is to simply support them through such experiences...
There’s a power to seeing this largely unspoken part of our interior lives represented,
too. And for those who’ve yet to experience that kind of sadness, I can't think of a
safer place to explore complex emotions for the first time than inside the pages of a
book...
Though we don't want to cause our students sadness, perhaps encountering challenging emotions in literature can benefit our students. Perhaps being left Chloe's regret and Maddie's tears will serve as a caution to our students, perhaps sparing them from hurting their peers and having to carry the burden of their own guilt. Or perhaps, it provides our students an opportunity to process hurt that they are already grappling with.
At the very least, the stories encourage students to mourn the hurt that those around them feel. The sadness we share with our students in the final pages should be cherished, because it is a sadness born of compassion.
This is such an important and fascinating topic and I am so glad you chose this as your topic. This is something that I actually think about quite often and worry about how I will handle in my future classroom. Kids will always use mean language and oftentimes do it outloud in class to try to be funny. But how much is said when teachers aren’t around? I love that your idea for a solution was a book. I have never heard of either of these books but they did a fantastic job of highlighting the issue and you did a fantastic job of depicting it. Both books were realistic fiction which I think is key because it makes it…
I really like the question that opened this entry. "Do my students wound each other?" is exactly how to address bullying, in my opinion. Both books are remarkable for this topic as well; I read Each Kindness to my class every year and every year I am surprised by how many students have witnessed or encouraged bullying, without intervening or asking an adult for help. It's an incredible opportunity to talk with students about the 'unhappy' endings of these books, and to give them the tools to address the emotions and situations like those in these stories. We also cover emotion identification and regulation in my current classroom and these books are great for that too - and essential for…
I thought this was really interesting. There are so many great books to choose from that discuss the topic of bullying. I like how "Each Kindness" and The Hundred Dresses don't have happy endings, because bullying does not normally lead to any happy endings for anyone. I was wondering, however, which book do you think would be the most effective for discussing bullying and the harm it causes everyone in 2nd-4th grade? Or what one have you found to be the most effective overall if you had to choose?
As someone who read The Hundred Dresses as an elementary student, this post reminded me about how influential books like these are. The only reason I remember The Hundred Dresses so vividly is because of how it made me feel. This book in particular taught me empathy like no other, even at such a young age. The thought of shielding children from heartache, even with good intentions, leads me to feel that they would be missing a huge part of life and the human experience. Children need to know the importance and impact that just one interaction can make. Life is about learning empathy, making mistakes, avoiding mistakes and learning from them. Literature can teach children so much, especially about…
I really enjoyed this. I already loved Each Kindness and I currently have The Hundred Dresses sitting in my ‘To Read’ pile. I believe that we should let children question their fears and the unknown in a controlled environment. Life isn’t all fairy tales and rainbows. It’s a rollercoaster and we need to prepare children so they can handle these twists and turns that are to come. As a mother and a future teacher, I truly believe it is our job to help guide our children through life and give them advice on how to deal and cope with such things as death, gender identity, minority struggles, and other things they may face.